Today we’re welcoming back Jaime Mcfaden in a special post dedicated to all the moms out there in honor of Mother’s day. This is so relevant even if you aren’t mom though, and we’re always down for ways to increase our mental state, productivity and overall well-being.
If you have yet to meet Jaime, she is a self care specialist, speaker, author and single mom who helped Lauryn co-write the very first bikini body guide 10 yeras ago. She is a self-care guru and knows exactly what it’s like to be a busy entrepreneur who puts wellness and self-care on the back burner.
In this post Jaime is going to tell you 5 very accessible ways to get your self-care on track and put YOURSELF first. Whether you have kids or don’t, are single or married, this post is for you.
With that, let’s welcome Jaime back to the blog.
Mother’s day is tomorrow and it just so happens to be mental health awareness month.
Let’s face it, as a mom we are conditioned to put everyone else first and then tell ourselves that we will have ME time later… And if we are lucky enough to get some time for ourselves, chances are we are met with a heavy dose of guilt and shame for taking this time. If this sounds like you, read on.
Recently, a study conducted at Ohio state determined that over 66% of moms are feeling burnt out and that number is increasing. The number 1 reason they are feeling burnt out is: a LACK OF SELF CARE.
Breastfeeding alone is clocked in at 16 hours per day and approx 70% of moms also have a job. That doesn’t include ANY self care. Something has to change and the harsh reality is no one is going to do it for us.
As a busy, working, full-time, single mom I am here to share my top 5 tips for busy mamas who are ready to put themselves FIRST! If I can do it, I am certain you can too.
Put Yourself First: 5 Self-Care Tips For Busy Moms
It takes a village.
♡ Most moms identify under the “supermom” complex where we have this pressure to “do it all” on our own. This is NOT healthy. When we have a support system we can take time to practice self care. Learn to ask for help, reach out to a friend or family member today and ask them if they can help you with that task you are putting off, or take the kids for an hour or two so you can do something for yourself. (It’s just like training a muscle, difficult at first, but once we keep working out – we get stronger and it becomes a habit. Creating your village is no different. It starts with you.)
♡ Take inventory of your current village. Time to dial in the people who I refer to as “energy angels” meaning they help you to RECHARGE. Do you have people you can rely on for support in different areas of your wellness?
♡ I’ve gone so far to have specific people in my village for specific things: coach for business, workout buddy to keep me fit, a few mom friends who take turns watching each others kids, etc. Humans are built for connection and we all LOVE helping others so it’s time to start asking for it.
Challenge: Reach out to someone right now who inspires you and take a look at your 6 pillars of wellness to see where you need the most support and start reaching out to people you know that are successful in that area.
When someone reaches out to me and asks for tips on self-care as a single mom, I can’t wait to give my support! Take a look at the wheel below and map out your wheel – fill out the areas you need the most support and the areas where you could help someone else. If you want to learn more about my WAVE self-care system, read my last blog post for TSC here.
Make quality sleep part of your JOB
♡ I’d bet 99% or more of moms who feel burnt out are NOT getting proper sleep. In a society that thrives on making jokes about “sleeping when we are dead,” it’s no surprise moms aren’t getting enough rest… who else is going to get everything done?
♡ Sleep affects ALL areas of our life, our mind, body and soul as well. As a recovering insomniac I can attest to the difference sleep makes to our overall health.
♡ One of my favorite sleep docs, Dr. Canapari, wrote an entire book on the reality that it’s NEVER too late to sleep train and he means this for adults too. Here are some tips that can help you get better quality rest:
- Create a healthy sleep environment – dim the lights, make the room cool, clean and dark, invest in a quality, orthopedic pillow and mattress for your body.
- BRAIN DUMP – I keep a journal by my bed every night and spend at least 1-2 minutes writing down all the things that are running through my head. It has been proven that by writing things down it helps the brain to process and get out of our head.
- Breathing exercise – try this SIMPLE, amazing breathwork technique that became popular by Dr. Andrew Weil called the 4,7,8 technique meant to calm the nervous system. Start inhaling for a count of 4, hold for 7 seconds and slowly release for a count of 8. Do this four rounds and watch how much easier it is to fall asleep or stay asleep.
- Create a sleep sound playlist or even snag your kiddo’s sound machine.
- As much as many moms rely on that glass of wine to unwind – wine can certainly mess with our REM cycles meaning we won’t get the quality sleep we need. Ditch the wine for tea.
- Lastly, you’ve heard it before, keep electronics away at least 1 hour before bed, no scrolling in bed to increase sleep quality – it works! Snag a good book and read before bed instead of scrolling. Here are my recommendations:
Family friendly workouts.
♡ The BIGGEST complaint I hear from moms about the things they DON’T have time for is exercise.
♡ It may not be your FIRST choice but working out can be done with your kids, dogs and spouse in the same room.
♡ Join one of the MANY apps that give you workouts in under 10 min or less. I have THOUSANDS of workouts on multiple platforms and you can snag a FREE trial here:
♡ Create a few playlists with your favorite songs, music can help inspire us to get moving, have a DAILY dance party in your kitchen! Dancing is not only a BLAST but it’s a great way to burn calories and have FUN. Check out some of Lauryn’s playlists here.
♡ Challenge your family to a squat contest, plank contest or maybe even a jog in the neighborhood.
♡ If you can schedule workouts in your weekly calendar that will help.
♡ If you can get an ACCOUNTABILITY partner you have a 98% better chance of reaching your goals.
TASTE THE RAINBOW: Nourish your body
♡ Nutrition is a KEY component to any kind of self-care. If we are nourishing our body, we are fueling ourselves with high quality energy and it will help to feel well!
♡ Challenge yourself daily to eat as many colors as you can. This is a great way to get your daily dose of nutrients.
♡ Drink water for a count of 10 every time you grab a glass – this tip helps us to stay hydrated and MOST of us are dehydrated which leads to more exhaustion and poor eating habits.
♡ Schedule your doc to get some bloodwork done. Many moms are low on Vitamin D and others which can lead to weight retention and feeling tired. Check in with your doc to see where your hormones and panels are at so you can create a nutrition plan that works for you.
♡ SLOW DOWN. When we eat in the car, standing up or on the go, we aren’t allowing our body the space to process and digest properly. Take 5 minutes today to be MINDFUL about your food. You can thank me later.
Often as moms we are holding onto A LOT! Between all the bags, kid stuff, KIDS— we pack the world into a metaphorical backpack that we carry around ALL DAY LONG.
If we spent 5 minutes per day decluttering, we make ROOM and SPACE which is helps us buy back time.
♡ Check where you spend your time on your phone. Many of us are spending more than 7-8 hours on our phone and might not even be aware of it.
♡ Make a list of all the time suckers in your life and see what you can take off your plate.
♡ Spend 5 minutes a day cleaning a drawer or loading a bag to donate.
♡ Check your finances and see what subscriptions or things you are paying for that you no longer need.
Hate to break it to you, but Target runs are NOT a great form of self-care for most moms. We end up spending money we don’t need to on items that will take up space.
In short, practicing self-care can feel daunting at first but just like learning any new routine or trying out a new recipe, it takes PRACTICE. The number 1 question I have asked THOUSANDS of moms is “what do you need?” and 90% of the time they just start crying because of two things: 1. No one has asked them that lately and 2. They don’t even know because they are so burnt out.
Take a few minutes every day to check in and bring awareness to your physical, emotional and spiritual needs. When we can identify with clarity patterns in our life we have the capability to change.
May is Mother’s day and mental health awareness month and I think the two go hand in hand. Moms are carrying the weight of the world and it’s time we remember that we are also a priority. In ancient Greek the word “Protos” means FIRST – let’s learn to prioritize putting our oxygen mask on first so we can lead by example
Grateful for Lauryn who is such a super mama that PROVES you can work and be successful, inspiring, beautiful and also a fabulous mama bear.
Sending love to all the mamas this Mother’s day and hope you will take some time to look over these 5 tips and create a healthier, happier YOU.
Cheers to health! XO,
OH AND !! If you didn’t realize that Mother’s day is tomorrow until right now, we got you. The Skinny Confidential gift cards are available instantly to print out or forward to your mom. This way she can get whatever skincare tool she wants, plus you’ll totally look like you have your shit together.
x, The Skinny Confidential team.
+ stalk these wellness hacks you can do for free right now.
++ check out these foods that can help balance your hormones.